I get so bad when I’m tired.
I want all the blood to slip down the drain. I want to slice my wrists open so badly.
I hate you.
I really do.
I just want to be able to kiss my boyfriend and be intimate with him without these flashbacks. They’re killing me and he deserves better.
Your actions shouldn’t affect his life.
Better yet, you shouldn’t have done those things in the first place or treated me that way. It still hurts.
I’m actually really proud of myself.
It’s been over 2 months since I’ve cut. I still struggle almost nightly wanting to slice my wrists open, but so far I’ve been able to suppress the urges.
I’ve also been able to minimize hair-pulling, scratching, etc.
I still ask myself why I’m doing this, though. I’m definitely not stopping for myself…
Today has been a good day :)
It feels really weird to say that. Hopefully, things will start to look up.
It’s crazy how my moods can change so drastically. At times, I am happy and content, but sometimes, I would do anything to die.
I’m not sure what I want, honestly. When I’m begging to die, that’s completely what I want. But, when I feel okay, I start to think that maybe living won’t be so bad.
Do you know what it’s like to wake up every morning disappointed that you made it through the night? How hard it is to go through the daily movements of life and keep pushing yourself when all you want to do is die?
That empty feeling within you, because in your mind, you’re already dead. Closing the world out, so you can forget things for just a moment.
Wanting to take your life, but knowing that’s a selfish move. Not wanting to be a bitch.
It’s hard. The pain is almost unbearable.
I just don’t want to be here anymore.
